I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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