We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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