i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
