I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
