how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
