with your own penis?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
