I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
