Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
