Pappa wants mamma naked
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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