And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
