That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he thought i was a dude.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
