i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
