If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
