So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
