I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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