"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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