if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
