can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
