called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
