I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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