So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm at about main and main street
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
