Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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