I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
