did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
