I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize