he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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