Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
