She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
