Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
