WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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