Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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