then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
