I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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