My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize