I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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