In the future we'll all be gay
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
