Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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