We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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