why didn't you poke me back
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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