His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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