peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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