And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
