Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sorry my hands just texted you
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
