I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize