ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
