awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
