At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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