i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Are we still banned from the library?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
