Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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