I feel like abortions should bother me more
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
