end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
