are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
even my farts smell like vagina
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
