Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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