on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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