I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
