I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Come see our sink grown plant.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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