all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
